Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More new arrival Than new arrival IQ (Leading with Emotional Intelligence) online

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More new arrival Than new arrival IQ (Leading with Emotional Intelligence) online

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More new arrival Than new arrival IQ (Leading with Emotional Intelligence) online

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Product Description

Features a new introduction read by Daniel Goleman and a bonus dialogue between the author and Jon Kabat-Zinn.
It is the tenth anniversary since the first publication of Daniel Goleman''s groundbreaking bestseller, Emotional Intelligence which maps the territory where IQ meets EQ, where we apply what we know to how we live. Spending over a year on the New York Times bestseller list, Emotional Intelligence provided the evidence for what many successful people already knew: being smart isn''t just a matter of mastering facts; it''s a matter of mastering your own emotions and understanding the emotions of the people around you.

Review

“Impressive in its scope and depth, staggering in its implications, Emotional Intelligence gives us an entirely new way of looking at the root causes of many of the ills of our families and our society.” ― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D., author of Wherever You Go, There You Are

About the Author

DANIEL GOLEMAN, Ph. D., covered behavioral and brain sciences for The New York Times for twelve years and is codirector of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations at Rutgers University. He has taught at Harvard, his alma mater, and as a consultant addresses groups and businesses around the world. He is also the author of Primal Leadership and
co-author of Destructive Emotions.

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4.6 out of 54.6 out of 5
5,590 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

elizmck
1.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
I really wanted to like this book
Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2020
A lot of what is in this book has been proven unhelpful, to say the least. For example, PTSD treatment is more successful using mindfulness meditation techniques rather than talk therapy. Talk therapy creates a repeated recreation of the trauma, where the body does not... See more
A lot of what is in this book has been proven unhelpful, to say the least. For example, PTSD treatment is more successful using mindfulness meditation techniques rather than talk therapy. Talk therapy creates a repeated recreation of the trauma, where the body does not differentiate between the real event and the recollection. Mindfulness does exactly what the author proposes as a solution: it removes the person from the reactionary brain, allows the emotions to sit without reaction, to simply exist in the body, and so on. The author drones on about medication and talk therapy and I could not agree less. As I said, this has already been debunked. So, very unhelpful .

The chapter on children was particularly disturbing to me and, in my mind, discredited the entire book. There are differences between timidity, shyness and introversion, yet the author uses the terms interchangeably AND infers that "introversion can be cured". Tell Susan Kane that. Sheesh! I could not really get past these inaccuracies and false judgments about introverts, but to me they were big red flags. I put the book aside, really considering what the author was trying to convey, but could not get past it. The chapter lacked expertise and detachment, to say the least. These judgments about introverts illustrate how little the author understands this subject at all.

Or as the author repeats in almost every paragraph "in short". (Who edited this to allow for that?)

The Managing with Heart chapter I also thought was too simplistic. There are other dynamics at play in the workplace, as there are in life. How many people have been dragged into meetings where people talk and talk just to hear their own voices, where things go off-topic, where nothing gets resolved, where everything gets "tabled" for the next unproductive meeting? A lot of times these alpha managers (male and female) know exactly what they are doing when the ridicule publicly. It has nothing to do with EI and a lot to do with ego. I suppose you could say that is a component of healthy EI, but the author never goes into ego or narcissism.

Anyway, these things bothered me - A LOT - and forced me to take a break from the book. The author just lost so much credibility with me. I had heard so many references to this book that I was actually excited to read it. I am sorry to say just how disappointing and frustrating the experience has been.
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Ricky Ricardo
3.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
So where''s the HOW!?
Reviewed in the United States on July 30, 2017
Never told you how to improve one''s skills, just made you informed or aware of this topic - read other reviews same complaint. Big miss in leaving that out.
253 people found this helpful
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johnjhogan
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Common sense, thoughtful book
Reviewed in the United States on August 3, 2019
I regularly read about two books a week and this was on a recommended list from a company that summarizes books and shares them on audios. While I do enjoy some audio like this, I wanted to read this one. Written in 1995, this book has a great deal of common... See more
I regularly read about two books a week and this was on a recommended list from a company that summarizes books and shares them on audios. While I do enjoy some audio like this, I wanted to read this one.

Written in 1995, this book has a great deal of common sense in it.

It has 5 parts
1. The emotional brain
2. The nature of emotional intelligence
3. Emotional intelligence applied
4. Windows of opportunity and
5. Emotional literacy

At a time in our country and globally when courtesy and bullying seems to be front and center more than it should be, this is a thoughtful book that points out many issues facing all of us at some points in our life. It also offers some insights we all can use:
• What are emotions for
• When smart is dumb
• The roots of empathy
• Intimate enemies
• Mind and medicine
• Managing with heart
• The family crucible
• Schooling the emotions

This book does have some academic leanings and parts appeared to be dry. So, after reading the first 50 or so pages, I took a new track – I went to the index at the back of the book. In 9 pages of two columns, there are dozens of topics, ideas, issues and resources. I spent several more hours going back and forth, comparing ideas and simply thinking about what was written.

In my business world, I offer consulting services and this book has enhanced some of what I already was practicing and it provided me with some great new ways of looking at things.

Great book – highly recommended

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84 people found this helpful
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Elizabeth
2.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
The overall premise of the book is a good one - emotional intelligence and the ability to handle ...
Reviewed in the United States on October 16, 2017
The overall premise of the book is a good one - emotional intelligence and the ability to handle our own emotions as well as recognize and interact with others'' is an important skill in all aspects of life. But Goleman uses classic business book vignettes like parables... See more
The overall premise of the book is a good one - emotional intelligence and the ability to handle our own emotions as well as recognize and interact with others'' is an important skill in all aspects of life. But Goleman uses classic business book vignettes like parables which fool the reader into thinking there''s some epiphany in the context of the pages, without any nuanced discussion of important and relevant examples that lie farther away from the extreme examples he includes. In multiple places, Goleman assumes an incredible amount of insight that isn''t grounded in any science, repeatedly using words like "may" or "might" when the effect it to make hypothetical and unsubstantiated relationships appear true. The book also attempts to cover too many subjects to be coherent on any single one. Good central insight, poor execution.
127 people found this helpful
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2000 Books
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Groundbreaking - a classic in the field of human performance
Reviewed in the United States on October 9, 2017
This is a truly Groundbreaking book that helps us understand the importance of Emotional Intelligence in our lives. There are 3 Keys to Emotional Intelligence: 1. The ability to handle impulses 2. The ability to handle... See more
This is a truly Groundbreaking book that helps us understand the importance of Emotional Intelligence in our lives. There are 3 Keys to Emotional Intelligence:
1. The ability to handle impulses
2. The ability to handle difficulties and setbacks
3. The ability to handle pressure and anxiety.
Overall Emotional Intelligence is our meta-level ability to handle emotions and use them to our advantage. I discuss in more detail in the video above.
207 people found this helpful
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Reid McCormick
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Flavors of intellect...
Reviewed in the United States on July 25, 2018
“Academic intelligence offers virtually no preparation for the turmoil - or opportunity - life’s vicissitudes bring” There is a difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is about the facts. Wisdom is about understanding and applying those facts. Miles... See more
“Academic intelligence offers virtually no preparation for the turmoil - or opportunity - life’s vicissitudes bring”

There is a difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is about the facts. Wisdom is about understanding and applying those facts. Miles Kington quipped, “Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad."

Without understanding, everything we know is useless. We need more understanding and that is where emotional intelligence comes in.

I love working in higher education because I get to interact with so many students majoring in a variety of fields. I get to learn about so much just by association. But I also get to see students connect the dots throughout their liberal arts education. The English major may not like his chemistry class and the Biology major probably abhors here art class, but I enjoy seeing these students expand their minds and gain perspectives connecting academic fields together.

Additionally, I enjoy seeing students live in community, learning to connect their academics to the lives. In life changing moments to the mundane of the everyday, this is where students learn emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence is one of those foundational works that everyone needs to read. It simply shapes how you think about everything you do and everything you are.

Though the whole book as great, I greatly enjoyed the section on optimism. How optimistic you are about life has a huge impact. Your sense of optimism is more predictive of your success than your intelligence. Giving someone optimism is crucial. “People’s beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities. Ability is not a fixed property”

I also found the section on dealing with tragedy or difficult memories particularly interesting. I already knew about the chasm between our emotions and the inability to communicate them effectively. (This is why it is hard to explain the reasons you love someone and why listing pros and cons seems absurd). But I never thought about the importance of communicating terrible emotions into words. “People’s emotions are rarely put into words; for more often they are expressed through other cues.” This is probably why just going to therapy just once can be beneficial. Putting horrible memories into words can help you confine and control the emotion.

This book is a new favorite. It is a must read.
50 people found this helpful
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Marie33kl
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Excellent and the one of the most important books I ever read! It helped me understand myself and others better than ever!
Reviewed in the United States on February 2, 2017
I highly recommend reading this book. It will help you understand yourself and everyone around you, and why you and they behave the way you/they do. It''s amazing and explains not only the scientific background, information about the brain, but then, how that translates into... See more
I highly recommend reading this book. It will help you understand yourself and everyone around you, and why you and they behave the way you/they do. It''s amazing and explains not only the scientific background, information about the brain, but then, how that translates into thinking and behaviors. Emotional Intelligence truly is the most important and it is what creates a safe, happy relationship, family, home-life, community, workplace etc., versus the opposite! This is important for you, your family/children, co-workers/bosses, etc. Everyone should read this book!
45 people found this helpful
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Jeffrey How
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Fantastic book for learning about emotional intelligence!
Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2020
In “Emotional Intelligence”, Daniel Coleman justifies the importance of emotional intelligence (or E.I.) in all areas of life. To help us understand what is happening when emotions occur, the book begins with an explanation of emotions and neural circuitry. As Coleman goes... See more
In “Emotional Intelligence”, Daniel Coleman justifies the importance of emotional intelligence (or E.I.) in all areas of life. To help us understand what is happening when emotions occur, the book begins with an explanation of emotions and neural circuitry. As Coleman goes further into the topic, we learn why emotional literacy is extremely valuable in our love, family and work lives. Most importantly, this book offers helpful approaches on how to improve one’s emotional aptitude and fix negative emotions.

I would recommend this book to anyone interested in psychology, well-being, or personal development. Likewise, I believe that this book would be extremely useful for emotional personalities who are affected by chronic anger, anxiety, or depression, and who are looking to improve themselves by better-understanding their emotions and learning how to handle them.

My brief takeaways from the book:

What Is E.I.?
Coleman discusses emotional intelligence as one’s ability to identify, understand, and handle emotions in oneself and in others. There are two aspects to E.I.: internal and external. Internally, competencies include self-awareness, self-management, impulse control, mood regulation and more. Externally, E.I. relates to empathy, social awareness and the capacity to manage emotions in others.

The Brain
Coleman explains how emotions are highly dependent upon one’s neural circuitry; in particular, the balance between her “feeling” amygdala and “thinking” prefrontal cortex. The amygdala is the part of the brain that triggers emotional impulses and fight-or-flight responses. The prefrontal cortex is the emotional damper that inhibits impulses while simultaneously facilitating attention and working memory.

An amygdala overwhelmed by emotion and unable to be regulated by one’s prefrontal cortex can trigger what Coleman calls “neural hijackings”. Neural hijackings contribute highly to emotional deficiencies such as anxiety, anger and depression. A portion of one’s neural circuitry is genetic, but Coleman argues that temperament is not destiny. The brain is continuously shaped throughout a lifetime due to its neuroplasticity.

The Emotions
Emotions are physiological responses of the brain. Good moods and emotions help us stay motivated, optimistic, resilient, and resourceful. They contribute towards an ideal state or flow and facilitate our ability to think flexibly and associatively.

“Laughing, like elation, seems to help people think more broadly and associate more freely, noticing relationships that might have eluded them otherwise…”

On the other hand, negative emotions such as anger, anxiety and depression can drastically impede our working memory, intellect and performance. “Emotional Intelligence” focuses on the most common negative emotions: anger, anxiety, and depression. Each of these emotions is a different type of emotional hijacking on the brain. Coleman discusses, in detail, the treatment for such concerns. In short, solutions include methods such as self-awareness, cognitive reframing, and distraction techniques to fight toxic trains of thought before they ruminate further.

“Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose in the right way – that is not easy.”

In The Real World
A significant portion of “Emotional Intelligence” discusses the effects of emotionally illiteracy on the most important areas of our lives: relationships, family, work, school, and health. These chapters include numerous studies and examples on how emotional competencies affect one’s ability to be an effective manager, teammate, spouse and parent.

Most importantly, emotional states play a significant role in one’s physical and mental health. Coleman discusses the correlation of negative emotional states, such as stress and depression, with one’s susceptibility to (and ability to recover from) disease. For example, social isolation can affect mortality rates as much as smoking, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and obesity!

E.I > I.Q.
“Those who are at the mercy of impulse – who lack self-control – lack a moral deficiency: The ability to control impulse is the base of will and character.”

Without discounting the fact that I.Q. is indeed important, especially for lower-rung technical jobs, Coleman debates that E.I. contributes significantly more to one’s overall success and quality of life, especially in “soft” domains such as health, love and relationships. In a family, it’s E.I., not I.Q., that influences how long a marriage lasts or how a child handles adversity. At the workplace, everyone at the top of the ladder is already filtered by technical expertise. So it is E.I. that helps the best and most effective leaders stand out. From a societal standpoint, an emotionally intelligent community will breed a moral culture where decisions are influenced by empathy and moral instincts as opposed to uncontrollable impulses.

“Academic intelligence offers virtually no preparation for the turmoil – or opportunity – life’s vicissitudes bring. Yet even though a high IQ is no guarantee of prosperity, prestige or happiness in life, our schools and our culture fixate on academic abilities. Ignoring emotional intelligence, a set of traits – some might call it character – that also matters immensely for our personal destiny”

If you''ve found this summary interesting. You should definitely go deeper into this lovely, informational book!
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Top reviews from other countries

Amazon Customer
1.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Pirated copys are not acceptable
Reviewed in India on March 31, 2018
Pirated copys are not acceptable from the company like Amazon. Verge shameful and very disastrous. I ordered more than 5 books and 5 of them are pirated (copied from the orginal, Duplicate copy)
129 people found this helpful
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De Saint
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A must read, if you need to reassess your emotional self for better relationships.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 2, 2018
Highly informative and addressed the issues emotions to the details. I like the way the book lined nature (creation, humanity) with science. It attest to the truth already known. Love is the way! Understanding is key! Advanced English grammar. Highly descriptive and provide...See more
Highly informative and addressed the issues emotions to the details. I like the way the book lined nature (creation, humanity) with science. It attest to the truth already known. Love is the way! Understanding is key! Advanced English grammar. Highly descriptive and provide answers for high temperaments and how to positively explain to yourself to avoid a misunderstanding leading to anger. I recommend the book to those in search of answers to emotional excesses - anger, anxiety, emotional disconnect, inability to maintain friendships and relationships with opposite sex etc.
7 people found this helpful
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Jules
3.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A satisfying and stimulating, but slightly challenging read.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 5, 2020
This is a very interesting concept, to which I was pointed during a recent lecture on the development of talent in organizations. Although the book contains many insights (and a few repetitious messages), for some reason I found it quite hard going - it never seemed to leap...See more
This is a very interesting concept, to which I was pointed during a recent lecture on the development of talent in organizations. Although the book contains many insights (and a few repetitious messages), for some reason I found it quite hard going - it never seemed to leap off the page at me. However, I persevered and am pleased to have done so as it was a rewarding experience and I will be developing my thinking in this area. All in all a satisfying and stimulating, but slightly challenging read.
2 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Must read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 24, 2017
I may as well have highlighted the whole book. This is everything I have believed for some time wrapped up in one book with all the evidence. Every educator and person of influence in the education of children including parents should read this.
6 people found this helpful
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UD
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A must read book for corporate employees and students alike
Reviewed in India on June 5, 2018
A perfect book to understand the basics of Emotional Intelligence. Have started using many of the suggestions mentioned here. A must read for anyone who wants to be more empathetic towards other and use that skill to improve all day to day relationships.
31 people found this helpful
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